Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Yearning to leave, needing to stay, and a bigger question


Last night was inspiring. It was one of those discussions that reminds me of a passion that I am holding a bay for a bit longer. Meg Garner shared about her trip to Africa this past summer. She talked about building libraries and little girls in new dresses. As she talked I remembered school girls asking heart breaking questions about how to get their school fees paid for and poverty beyond anything I have ever suffered through. This little spark of passion in my heart remembered everything I desired and longed for, for so many years.

As I watched the films Meg created for us I wondered if my longing to live in the developing world will ever be fulfilled? If I will ever combat hunger and poverty and hopelessness outside of the comfort of my fabulous urban life? If I still believe the gospel is good news worth telling? That last question is really the one that is more than I can wrap my mind around these days.

I am not sure how to explain this. I am not doubting the story of Jesus to transform lives. I am at a loss for how the story of Jesus can best be shared as good news to a world that is physically hungry, to girls that are purposely oppresses, to people who are in slavery. I want to be a preacher, a pastor, and a missionary, but I have to help people be fed, I have to work towards an end to slavery and I have to know if I can tell the story of Jesus as a complete story. How do I tell the good news as Good News?

For much of my life my faith was focused on life after death (after all eternity lasts longer). However, over the past few years I have decided that if the gospel is only good news after you are dead, it isn't good news. I am working towards a faith that is present in this life. To be clear I don't think there is anything wrong with the story of Jesus, it is more the part where I am involved in the telling of it, and my own experience of it that I am sorting through, and the part where I don't think I can rightly be a missionary until I work through it a bit more. Odd, how I thought I was so ready at 18 and 2 weeks shy of 28 I am overwhelmed by doubt.

Funny thing: that is not where I was expecting this blog post to go. I was planning to talk about my wanderlust and my overwhelming desire to travel soon. Oh well, that will be another post. For now I am admitting that I miss the days of excitement about just moving overseas and telling people the good news. The naivete has faded and I miss it.

Something pretty for your Tuesday morning

(photos taken by me, while at Soulflower doing an intern review. Emily hosts a fabulous New Door interns.)

Monday, August 30, 2010

Frida

(A still from the movie just, a depiction of her wedding portrait of them.)

Last night I started watching the movie Frida. I was unable to finish it because my DVD player does not always cooperate with my plans for movie watching, whatever. I was able to get far enough into the film to remember why I am so drawn to this women's work. She is such an intense figure and her love for Diego is heartbreaking. It is shocking to watch a woman love a man that she knows cannot be faithful. I loved her work so much when I saw it at the SFMOMA last year.

So I am posting just a few of her works that I love. To be honest I am not posting some of the ones that I am most drawn to, because they are almost too shocking and heartbreaking for me to circulate here. I know it is odd, but some of her work is just too powerful to not be seen in person, and too intimate to share. Viewing her paintings last year I felt like I was inside her soul and honestly, like I wasn't invited to be there.

I will start with my absolute favorite. I hope you are inspired by her honesty and hopefully someday you will all of her work. It is brutal, and beautiful.




Sunday, August 29, 2010

If you desire peace, cultivate justice, but at the same time cultivate the field to produce more bread; otherwise there will be no peace. ~Norman Borlaug from his Nobel Lecture~

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I was a moody teenager






I am not sure much has changed.

Anyway, after last night's concert I felt the need to provide everyone who grew up in the 90's a chance to stroll down a depressing memory lane.

Little Black Backpack



I saw these guys at a little show last night. I was so into this song in high school. So fun! I love the random things that happen in my life in San Francisco.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

more ship love

(found on froeken lila created by Chatham Girl)

(found on a the blog absolutely beautiful things and you can see more of it at fine little day and buy it at photo wall)
I love ships: the freedom, the adventure, the simple joy they bring to my soul. I am wishing that I could get a ship tattoo, but I will not. Instead I will just look at them, post about them, and maybe draw a few.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

more economy thoughts

So here is my other issue I am pondering, low wage workers in a world a of DIY simplicity.

I have always felt that having a maid is lazy, I should just clean up after myself. Going out to eat is lazy (but I love it) I should eat at home. There are about a million tasks a day that I could pay someone else to do (if I had infinite money, I don't but for the sake of this rant lets pretend). However, I feel that if I were to do that it would seem that I am terribly lazy. Nonetheless, when you pay a skilled worker to do a task you are providing them with work and a paycheck.

Example 1: I desperately want to start dropping my laundry off at the place around the corner from me because I hate doing laundry, but I can't because:
a. I don't really have the money. (Sorry, I failed at pretending.)
b. it feels like an unjustifiable luxury.
Here is the catch: the laundry guy needs a job. He needs to feed his family. He needs people (me?) to bring in clothes for him to wash. Nonetheless, I do my own laundry.

Example 2: I have a ton of clothes that need altering. I am hoping to take a sewing class so that I can do it myself. Problems with this plan:
a. I am don't really think I am good seamstress.
b. The taylor I am not taking my clothes to needs the work I am depriving him/her of.

Speaking in braod generalizations, when the economy went bust low level entry level jobs busted with it. Coffee shops are being staffed by people with masters degrees while youth that should have those job are unemployed. This also applies to restaurants and retail stores.

When we cut spending we generally cut it in areas that provide work for low skilled and specialized workers.

So this is not a complete thought, but I wanted to think in print and invite you into my thoughts.

Once upon a time, when my grandmother was growing up, you went to the store and handed the clerk a list and they brought you your groceries. This provided job security. Now people pick up less than 12 items on purpose so they can use the self check out, this saves you time and the company money, while it eliminates the need to hire low skill workers.

I am just a bit flustered that most of the solutions to debt and a busted economy seem to effect low-skilled workers more than the wealthy. I am not loving that, and I am not sure what to do about it either.

The good news is my desire to live simply is encouraging me to have my shoes resoled instead of buying a new pair. At least the cobbler is getting some job security out of this.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

new economy - a self reflective rant/the conflict within

I have been meaning to write this post for a while, but it just keeps getting pushed back to a time when I will have the time to really, and I mean really process it.

But in truth, I am just not sure how to really get into all my thoughts on wanting to create a new economy, while not having the money to really buy all fair, all local, a independent designed: all new economy stuff. I also don't have the time to work a full time job, really love on my friends, participate in the service I desire to give my life to, live in community with Christians, allow myself some much needed self-care, and make all my own stuff.

Add to that, I must confess I love my stuff, and I love day dreaming about beautiful things that someday I will own. I love to simply appreciate ways that someone else was creative. I want to support designers and new ideas. That means I need to buy their stuff. I want to enjoy beauty and amazing food, and all the adventures that life affords (and sometimes doesn't afford) me. That means I have to spend money in a system that I don't always respect, but how can I expect that an artist will ever be able to live off their craft if I refuse to buy it?

I am so grateful that I live in a land of plenty in a world where people create beautiful things, in a city with a red bridge and amazing creativity. But I also live in a city with empty homes while people are homeless, with overpriced hotels hosting hoards of tourist while people sleep on the street. I am not sure that it really is selfish to say that 4 women to one home is enough and I can't let homeless people sleep on my couch.

The tension grows with the reality that I am having a ton of fun with the direction this blog is going. I love posting on my artist crushes, my latest creative projects, and the adventures that fill my days. I love that I know people that cook fabulous meals and make jewelry. It brings joy to my heart to see that we live in a shockingly beautiful world. Still, I sometimes fear that as I highlight my new fave thing I am encouraging a world that has forgotten the least of these.

With this I pray give us today our daily bread. A prayer for enough for us, plural, to have just what we need. To not be jealous, to take only our fair share, to be grateful for enough. I pray this as a request for contentment and direction. I pray this knowing that I live in a system where if I stop buying someone else stops being paid to work, and if I take more than is mine someone else will go hungry.

So this my my rant. I hope it makes some sense. It sounds crazy to talk of starvation alongside pretty flowers and my desire to buy art, nonetheless it is the conflict I am living in. Conflict is a good thing, at least that is what I am telling myself.

Check out the link below. It is part of what keeps stirring these questions.

http://www.theworkofthepeople.com/lp/eol.html

Something pretty for your Tuesday Morning

(Beautiful fake roses from Urban Nest in Noe Valley, I want them so very badly!)



Monday, August 23, 2010

I am sorry I forgot you

The Sketchbook Project: 2011

As I mentioned a few weeks back I am starting a new project (as if I do not have enough projects going). The Sketchbook Project seriously is my new obsession. I am so excited about it.

Fun story: I was being responsible and waited to sign up until after I had my last pay check. Well, I had not realized this would result in many of the themes I was interested in no longer being available. However, losing these options helped me see a new option I had not noticed before: "I am sorry I forgot you". I love it! I had to choose it, really, there was no other option. (If you did not think that was a fun story, sorry, it was just a story. Now back to the blog post.)

Over the next few months I will be filling a moleskin sketch pad with images, phrases, and thoughts that capture this theme. I am hoping to dedicate much of my work to beautiful trips down memory lane to rediscover lessons I learned all over the world, in school and in various relationships. I am excited! In fact I am thrilled. Yay! for drawing.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Sunday

(Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Grand Jatte, George Seurat)

Today was a wonderful day. It felt much like the image above, and might have looked like it had I made it to Dolores Park, however I did not make it to the park or to Stern Grove Music Festival (I had really wanted to make it to at least one show this year, but I failed). In fact I barely even made it to Rock Make. (I was only there long enough to see the pom-poms I had helped make to decorate to beer gardens. I know very random, but we made tissue paper pom poms* to decorate the chain-link cages San Francisco has decided to make people say in as they drink at the street fairs. I am not convinced it is a good idea to put a bunch of drinking people in a cage, but whatever, I helped make the cages pretty.)

All of this to say, my day was not what I had planned. And it was wonderful. I failed to make it to a baby shower in San Jose that I had wanted to attend but was unable to make ride arrangements for. That was deeply disappointing, but I feel that it afforded me some much needed rest. For the first time in months I was able to have my Sunday ritual: americano, farmers market, church, lunch at home, off to meet a friend, long run (I have gotten out of the habit so my 'long' run was only 5 miles, but whatever), some snacks and drinks mixed in so that I don't starve or dehydrate. I allowed my plans to be flexible, but I did the things I know I need in order to maintain my own sanity. I went to Right Spot, and Pops for the first time and grabbed some coffee and The Grand (a new place on mission that serves Four Barrel, it is super close to my work and I have been wanting to try it. It was great and the owner is super nice.) Today was exactly what I needed.

Now with this said here is my goal for the next 7 days: Keep all plans flexible and tentative. I am forcing myself and my relationships to relax a bit. As much as this might feel a bit selfish, I know that I will lose my ability to be any good to anyone if I don't get serious about doing the self care I need to in order to have the margins of space I need to love others. (My pastor spoke on this this morning and it really confirmed what I already know. I will try to post the link as soon as it is up so you can listen. Short version really loving people requires sacrifice and margins, costly caring was the title, and it was about how much it really cost us to really impact the lives of others.)

So here we go 7 days, flexible plans. Bring on the chaos! or the rest... whatever.

* side note: pompoms are awesome. You should use them to decorate. If you don't want to take the time to make pompoms you can buy them here. However, you should know they are fun to make and super easy. We had them at my friend Melody's wedding last year also. The ones we made this year were orange, pink and purple. Melody's were orange, pink, and white (I think). I kind of want to make some just to hang in my hall bathroom.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

The “real movement” of history, it turns out, is fueled not by matter but by spirit, by the will to freedom. ~Gertrude Himmelfarb, U.S. historian, On Looking Into the Abyss

Friday, August 20, 2010

Solitude



Another post about wanting rest and solitude. I know, I know, I am responsible for my own life it is it my own fault that I am begging my life to give me some sweet solitude. (Which feels like a crazy thing to ask for when I have to admit I am lonely in a way I have never felt before and it is not a nice feeling, but anyway.) My soul is begging me for some alone time.

I used to have so much of it. Studying is often a solitary activity, painting is a solitary activity, job hunting is a solitary activity. I used to have so much time by myself it was driving me crazy! Now I am longing for it, patiently and desperately. Trying to find the balance between seeking new energizing friendships and my own desire for rest.

I would like to say this weekend will offer me some rest, but that would be ever so optimistic considering the list of activities I plan to engage in. Dancing tonight, teacher training tomorrow, Tom's Birthday dinner, teaching Sunday school, Rock Make and/or Stern grove; it is a full weekend per my usual. I am hoping for at least one long run and a solitary trip to the farmers market. That will offer me some alone time, but seriously I am starting to stake out inexpensive locals for a silent retreat.

Does anyone have suggestions for where I can go?

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Gentle

Compassion is expressed in gentleness. When I think of the persons I know who model for me the depths of the spiritual life, I am struck by their gentleness ... They are gentle because they have honestly faced the struggles given to them and have learned the hard way that personal survival is not the point. Their caring is gentle because their self-aggrandizement is no longer at stake. There is nothing in it for them. Their vulnerability has been stretched to clear-eyed sensitivity to others and truly selfless love. ~ John E. Biersdorf Healing of Purpose

I hope this could be said of my someday, but I fear that I will be old and frail before I ever learn how to be gentle.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Grant me, O Lord my God, a mind to know you, a heart to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct pleasing to you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you, and a hope of finally embracing you. Amen.

A prayer of St. Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)

Give Away! on Happiness Is...


I found this give away via Melody (the girl has serious radar for all things lovely). Happiness is... is a gorgeous blog and I have enjoyed stumbling on it a few times as I roam the blog world for pretty things, and today she is hosting a give away! Check out the store it is full of beautiful things, and click here to enter for the give away!

Yogurt Making with the Lovely Lisa

(Lisa make a little zine and I think I starting to love little zines, I will need to come up with one I want to make.)

I spent much of my evening last night with the lovely Lisa. She had hosted a vow night (an evening with my faith community where we focus on one of our seven vows) on simplicity a few weeks back and I was unable to go. So this wonderful woman opened her home to me, as she has many times before, to allow me the opportunity to come over and learn the simple art of yogurt making. It really is a very simple process. Heat milk, cool milk, stir in cultures, incubate.

Step 1: Pour the amount of milk that you would like to become yogurt into a jar.

Step 2: Put jar in large pot and fill with water (leave room for water to boil).

Step 3: Boil water to heat milk to 180 degrees. You will need a food thermometer.
Step 4: I don't have a pic but whatever you don't need a picture of milk cooling, and step 4 is cool the milk to 110 degrees. This is important because if it is too hot you will kill the cultures and that defeats the point of yogurt.

Step 5: Add in your starter/yogurt cultures. These can be found in any organic yogurt. Oh, and be sure it is room temperature. You need to stir in 2 tbsp for each quart of milk.

Step 6: Incubate, aka: wait. Well specifically wait while keeping the milk at 110 degrees for 8-12 hours depending on how tart you want it to be.


So it seems that much of yogurt making is patience. There is a lot of waiting for things to get hot enough, cool enough and then to just be ready. How is that much anything simple and valuable is patience?? (I am still waiting for my absinthe to become absinthe, and that is the least stressful thing I am 'patiently' waiting on.) Nonetheless, all the waiting created amazing time to chat with Lisa and her three kids. We ate dinner while we waited for the milk to cool, and slept while it incubated. I can't wait to head over to her house after work to pick up my fabulous creation, but I guess I will have to. Waiting is a good thing. I keep telling myself that, and it is proving to be true.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Random Beauty



(1&2. The faucet in Steph's kitchen, where we kicked off the bachelorette festivities. 3. The faucet in the kitchen of the Shadelands Ranch Historic House where the bride and bridesmaids dressed for the wedding.)

I love seeing simple things that are beautiful, hardware that lasts, and these two faucets. I think there is about 100 years difference in their ages, but they are both kind of classically pretty.


Thursday, August 12, 2010

(I am a picture thief and I stole this off Jule's facebook. It so perfectly captures the essence of them. They are a casual lovable couple, perfectly at ease with each other. He loves to surf and she loves to actively present in every major adventure life throws her way. I feel like this picture captures all of that well.)

I am off to enjoy the wedding weekend for these two amazing people! I can't believe this time last year they barely knew each each other, and I was plotting away with his brother and her to get them to go out. They were clearly meant to be. (I love the memory of casually asking her what she would say if her called her and if she would mind if I passed along her number. She played it so cool, but was already smitten.)

In an effort to be fully present I will not be posting until after the weekend is over. However, this is just a taste of what is ahead:

Bachlorette Extravaganza including: making our own shirts, chasing adventures down hwy 1, margaritas at the Velvet Cantina, dancing in the mission, followed by brunch. Followed by the basics of rehearsal around lunch, a long leisurely break and dinner in the evening. Sunday we will take our time getting ready for the fabulous evening wedding and some ridiculous dancing.

Adding to the joy of the weekend, one of my favorite people is the photographer (the wonderful Melody Hansen, her wedding was last year and was also a glorious celebration.) This means I get to sneak away for quality time with this wonderful woman while she is in the Bay Area (LA stole her from me a few months back.)

It is going to be extraordinary and I don't want to miss a minute of it. So, I will not be posting until Monday, although admittedly I will probably upload some pics on facebook as the moments of joy compel me.
Are we doing it? Are we giving the world a symmetrical, authentic, fully-formed image of Christ? There is still time. Spiritual growth is not a matter of chronology alone. It’s a matter of spirit. Of heart. Of who you are to the next person you meet. In the next crisis you face. In the next moment you live. ~ Lloyd John Ogilvie, The Magnificent Vision ~


I feel lately that I have made a bit of a mess, just a tad bit of a ruckus. I am not sure that I have represented Christ well. Still, each morning I remember that God's mercies are new, and I will need them to be new each morning, because every morning I wake up I have 24 more hours of possibilities and they might not work out too well, but than again they might. It isn't too late to represent Christ in the life of the next person I meet or in the next moment I live. This is grace, this is mercy, to live in my mess, and make a mess, knowing that it isn't too late to do it right.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

It's the Little Things



I am taking a quick break to post these flowers. Why? Because my co-worker Carin brought them to the office and put them in a little jar for me, and it makes me happy.

Now, I would like to give you some context for why these flowers make me so happy. This time last year I was in a total panic. I didn't have a job and barely had hopes for one. I was applying with the place I work now, but knew they had received hundreds of resumes within hours of the idealist posting. I had basically given up on my life in San Francisco. My bags were as good as packed. (By that I mean in storage because I was couch serving; aka: the 'new homeless' - mid-twenties, well-educated, and broke.) I was planning my move to Kansas City. My amazing friend Candace was sending me links daily to help convince me that moving to KC was not the actual end of the world.

A year later, somehow I wasn't offered the job I was applying for, but I was offered a part time contracting position with the hopes that maybe they would be able to offer me a job. Before heading home for Christmas I was offered the job. Almost 9 months later I have loved growing in my new career and working with fabulous people, who sometimes bring me flowers.

I am so very grateful.

*side note: Candace & Scott Shaw, plus this Design Sponge City Guide really make me want to check Kansas City out in person, but I still like that I live in San Francisco.

My Next Project


I saw this project on Oh Joy! yesterday and I HAVE to do it! I am completely taken in my the challenge to fill a sketchbook and share it on tour. What will I fill these pages with? I have no idea but I am determined to do it. I simply have to. It just feels like the type of project I need to get me to put something I create out there in a way that someone (other than my friends) will see it and maybe it will speak to them. Or maybe it will just speak to me, the challenge of creating a little book to share with the world. I like it.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Something pretty for your Tuesday morning


(Photos taken by me: 1) flowers at Local Mission Eatery 2) flower shopping for Tori's wedding 3) flowers at Sophia Grace's Pre-birthday Pic-nic)

Monday, August 9, 2010

To create this new society, we must present outstretched and friendly hands, without hatred and rancor, even as we show great determination and never waver in the defense of truth and justice. Because we know that we cannot sow seeds with clenched fists. To sow we must open our hands. - Adolfo PĂ©rez Esquivel, Argentinian human rights activist, from his Nobel Lecture

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Something Hopeful

Growing up I couldn't stand the girls that carried bridal magazines and had their weddings planed (and by growing up I mean up until last year). Than something crazy happened in my heart and I finally realized that I wanted the hope/anticipation they all had. I wanted the blissful belief in love and marriage, and somehow despite living a thousand failed almost love stories (or at least they have felt like a thousand) somewhere in this past year I found that hope and I have fought for that hope.

It was kind of crazy. It was like out of no where I started to believe that someday it would be me and that nothing was going to prevent it from being me. Months ago I was recounting a tale of love that failed while walking by a store window and seeing beautiful Vera Wang dress. I stopped dead in my tracks. It was so beautiful it took my breath away. My gracious and loving friend looked at me with horror, so afraid I would break down on the side walk and weep. She looked at me and urged me to walk away, my fragile heart didn't need to be put through the longing and pain. I looked at her and said no, the dress was renewing my hope. That story didn't work and maybe not the next one, but I will be loved. I will wear a dress as beautiful as the one in the window (but probably not as expensive).

Now I will admit that was a wonderful moment when I knew the truth. Like most single women I don't always know the truth. I never thought I would be entering my late twenties and single. I also never thought I would be 'needy' enough to wish/hope for something else. Still, I feel like there is a purpose to the heartbreaks I have had and a purpose to the healing I am currently pushing myself through. I am not saying that I am ready, but I am hopeful, oh and I have started reading some really beautiful wedding blogs lately. (You should look at this one: 100 Layer Cake.) Mostly I read them because they are wonderfully GORGEOUS and I enjoy looking at pretty things. I am also inspired by the creative details and decorations and all the fun ways you can make the celebration fabulous and make people feel special. (I sometimes wish I was an event planner, being hospitable is my favorite thing.)

So today after helping host my third baby shower and as I am anticipating a wonderful wedding weekend for my friend Julie I want to share this little video with you that one of my friends recently sent to me. It feels kind of crazy to post someone else' wedding video but it is so freaking adorable.

Max, Margaux, & The Marvelows from Shark Pig on Vimeo.



Jennie sent me the video with a little note that said 'this could be you.' Someday it will.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Music Crush: Mumford and Sons

My new music crush is Mumford and Sons. The attraction started with the song Little Lion Man, grew with Roll Away Your Stone, but the moment that made them my new crush was finding their music videos. They are beautiful!

I simply have no choice but to share them with you. I was unable to find videos for all of my favorites, but these three are fabulous, and they will suffice. Enjoy! (Warning: if cursing upsets you, maybe you should not listen.)









If you want to hear more of their music check out their myspace.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Hints of things to come

(Model: Carin Ward. Camera: Shake it on iphone. I used her iphone because I dropped my android and broke the lens on the camera.)

I have a ton of beautiful little pieces like this waiting to be made. All from found/used/up-cycled (lame word but I am into it this week/month) materials. If you want one let me know. You can pick out the pieces and everything. They range from $10-$40 depending on the materials used. You can go here to see more that I have made, even more can be viewed in my art album on facebook. I am hoping to sell these on my etsy shop when I finally set it up.

I am also thinking of selling some of the photos I have posted on here. Thoughts?

An Affair to Remember




(All images stolen from random google search.)

The other night I watched An Affair to Remember. (I seem to be on a Cary Grant kick, add to that I purposely made time to go running in the evenings and caught a cold instead. The cold is gone, but I am glad it gave me an excuse to watch this.)

So anyway it was another really beautiful movie with great images and I thought I would share them with you.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

He lived for me

Confession: over the past few months (really I mean years) I have realized I have an aversion to the cross.

At first I thought it was just my personal rejection of the consequence of sin and the odd place I am with the concept of sin/guilt (that is another blog). However, when I challenged that view within myself I realized that wasn't it. I really value the psalms of lament and the book of lamentations. I feel the need to grieve sin is one of the healthiest things we can do. So, my frustration with the cross seems not to be tied in with my thoughts on sin or consequence.

Then there was the part where I started to reject substitutionary atonement and the idea that the Father would kill the Son. (Or that God had to sacrifice the Son to the Devil to win our souls from Hell. That seems to give evil way too much weight in the story of God.) I lean towards agreeing with the liberal theologians that refer to that as divine child abuse. Nonetheless, I recognize that in the cross Jesus took on the sin of the world and that is a significant part of my salvation. I might not understand atonement, but I value the grace of the cross. I hope to never diminish the value of the grace shown as Jesus took on so much pain and rejection, but still it does not make me want to cling to the cross.

I could go on for a while with the ins and outs of my dealings with understanding the cross, but I would like to get to my point. It struck me tonight sitting on the N-Judah after a conversation that was meaningful, but in no way related, that my issue with the cross is: I don't want a love that would die for me; I want one that will live for me.

Don't get me wrong, I am not rejecting the love that is shown in the cross. I am rejecting the idea that Jesus came to this earth only to die for me. I am stating that I feel very strongly that I am in love with a savior that chose to live for me. After all that is the story sounds much more like the Good News. That story is the story of the nativity and life and healing and teaching and justice and repentance and hope.

If the it was just the cross that mattered the gospels would be much shorter and so much less meaningful. In fact they would just be trauma displayed for the world to grieve, there would be nothing Good about them. Furthermore, they would be indistinguishable from much of the tragic literature created during their time.

In time I hope to be at a better place in dealing with the death of Jesus, but tonight I am clinging to the Love that lived for me.

Half way to the weekend

(My feet at Ning's joyfully simple pic-nic in the park. It was a wonderful time in the park playing outdoor games, snacking on goodness, and celebrating the pre-birthday of Sophia Grace.)

I feel like all of my weekends have been full of fabulous celebratory engagements and for that I am grateful. However, I have some significant decisions, my heart is in need of some healing and I am needing some time with my Creator, as well as unstructured time with my friends. I am craving routine and silence. This is just my little confession, it will still be a few weeks before I will get some rest, but I am anticipating some joyful rejuvenation, someday soon.
Institutionalized rejection of difference is an absolute necessity in a profit economy which needs outsiders as surplus people. As members of such an economy, we have all been programmed to respond to the human differences between us with fear and loathing ... But we have no patterns for relating across our human differences as equals. As a result, those differences have been misnamed and misused in the service of separation and confusion. ~ Audre Lorde, Sister Outsider~

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

To Catch a Thief






If you have not seen this movie you should. Mostly because it is beautiful. Not in a deep kind of way but in a simple 1955 classically gorgeous kind of way. It makes me want to wear a scarf around my neck, with pearls and a high wasted skirts. (Wait, I do that already.) Anyway, I checked it out from the library last week and I enjoyed it immensely.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Designer Crush: Alice Saunders





(The above photos feature Alice's special collection read the story of the bags here.)

Last week on Design*Sponge they featured Alice Saunders of Forestbound and I developed a big fat crafter/designer crush! She uses found materials to make bags that I think are just gorgeous! I have always felt that it was a bit heart breaking that so many beautiful fabrics that were used for practical purposes just get thrown out after they are done. Thank you Alice for mending my heart break. These bags are beautiful! In addition to creating fabulous bags she seems to have a simply marvelous tool box, go here to to be tempted with all her fabulous decor.

Side note: I emailed her to ask permission to use her pics and she sent me the sweetest email back. I love people who are gracious and talented. I hope our paths cross in person someday, but until than I am just going to have to save some dollars to buy one of her bags.

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