Simple Diva

Waiting

2012-01-27T23:29:00.000-08:00

This is a ramble, a posting on thoughts still undefined
A space to say a thousand things and vaguely nothing, all at once

There is this spark in my soul that is stirring just a bit
just a hint of hope and chaos and longing and need
all wrapped up in things unknown and things unseen
anticipation sneaking up along side preparation
and still
waiting

In recent days and recent chats and recent dreams
hints of everything hoped for
remembrances of everything that ever made the list of all the things I always wanted
like a memory of something that hasn't happened yet
somehow more sure than ever that this isn't it, but it is almost
flickers of permission to want what I want
as if for so long even the wanting was too much
and still
I wait

I am trying to determine how to become who I most want to be
so that I can do what I most want to do
so that I can believe, truly
and still the instructions seem clear
wait

For any of you that know me at all you must know this: waiting makes me anxious and feisty, it also seems to be good for me somehow.

Happy Friday

2011-11-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

Source: youtube.com via rachel on Pinterest

2011-10-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

Source: moonlightrainbow.tumblr.com via Letrecivette on Pinterest

Writing requires discipline, time, planning and grace. I think my hiatus is coming to an end, it just feels like after being gone from the blog world for so long I need to make a grand re-entrance, but I have decided if I wait for that one great moment when I am completely confident that my words are brilliant: I will not write. Instead I have decided to just show up say what I have to say, and than come back the next day and do it again, until I am writing at the level I want to be.

I want writing to be easier than that. I want to be able to say something profound and fun and entertaining all at once. However, maybe it isn't for me to judge profundity. Maybe, I should just trust that people will read what they want to read, if I trust myself to write what I want to write.

Music Monday

2011-09-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

2011-09-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ramblings from a few thousand miles up

2011-08-26T08:56:00.000-07:00

Source: moodyscollectibles.com via Diane on Pinterest

I am on a flight to Dallas so that I can hop in a car to Oklahoma to see the lovely Lela get hitched. I am kind of in awe of this moment, not just because Virgin America and Chrome gave me a computer to use and free internet. (It is fun and all, but nothing compared to the weekend ahead.)

You see I remember Lela when she was moving into the residence hall where I was a Chaplain. I never would have guessed that this girl with a shamelessly offensive sense of humor and a heart of gold would have ended up being such a good friend. In fact the rules of healthy boundaries in relational work almost forbid it. If I had know at 24 what I know now about how I am supposed to love people from a tiny bit of a distance, because I am a helper by profession, I am fairly certain I would have never cuddled on the couch with students, and woken poor Lela up before her morning class to complain about my wretched boyfriend. Most significantly 6 years later I wouldn't be on my way to see her on one of the happiest days of her life. Losing all those things would be highly disappointing.

It is odd how my profession works. It is my vocation to care for people: to coach, to guide, and to love. It is also part of my vocation that I am not a dear friend. I am: a chaplain, a teacher, a case manager. I am whatever title might be at the job I am in. Still, as I go on this trip I am realizing the need to be careful to not be too connected to that boundary.

Somehow or another people trust me to care for them, and they often care for me in return. As I have been reading Henri Nouwen's Creative Ministry I have been struck by the need for the teacher to be taught by the student. Lela is far from being my student these days, but she once was, and she has taught me a great deal. Lela has taught me patience, love and forgiveness. She has shown the strength of a young woman willing to make huge changes in her views on the world and than acted on those changes. It has been a few years since I was her chaplain and I see her entirely as a peer. Nonetheless, she treats me with such care and respect I cannot help but remember the role I have been trusted with and it has be in awe.

All this to say: I am on my way to Oklahoma and I am thrilled to see this lovely lady get married. I cannot wait to meet her future husband and I am overwhelmed by the joy of this moment. I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I plan to document my trip with fun photos, get excited.

Tata for now, just for now, I might be back tomorrow

2011-08-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

Source: flickr.com via S Rachael on Pinterest

I have been posting nearly daily for a little over a year, but for the past few weeks it seems that my life is in a season where most of the things I am processing are best pondered over coffee and wine with friends, not so much on a blog.

I am going to take an intentional break from posting daily. I have some fun posts in my head that I would like to bring to fruition, but I need to take some time to dream of bigger things than I have the space to post here.

Be back soon, with ponderings on weddings, my 1920s themed 29th birthday party, craft ideas, and other fun news. But I will not be back daily, it just feels a bit too much.

HUGS

Saturday Evening Post

2011-08-20T22:38:00.001-07:00

September 10th, 1920s Birthday Party! Start getting ready.

Oh, and Happy Saturday! I went to the SF Food Fest and it was epic!

Weepies Tonight!

2011-08-18T17:15:00.001-07:00

Reading this

2011-08-17T22:52:00.000-07:00

I am reading this again and enjoying thinking about my strengths.

Learner
Activator
Command
Individualization
Communication

You should read it.

Fields of Orange and Yellow and Lavendar

2011-08-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

For most of the pas few Saturdays that I have been in the city Leah, Lisette, and I have gone walking in Golden Gate Park.

Every time we walk past the Conservatory of Flowers I make us stop and I almost always take pictures; even though I know that the pictures I take will look exactly like the ones I took the week before. I just LOVE the flowers there. They are so beautiful and it just amazes me that I live here and this is just part of my normal life. People travel to SF just to come hang out in Golden Gate Park, it is crazy!

Music Monday

2011-08-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-08-12T21:41:00.001-07:00

2011-08-10T23:39:00.000-07:00

Source: etsy.com via Krystha on Pinterest

Someday my writers block will end, until then, I hope you enjoy other people's quotes.

2011-08-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

"So from now till kingdom come, / taste the words on the tip of my tongue. / 'Cause we can't run truth out of town, / only force it underground. / The roots grow deeper / in ways we can't conceive. / All I need is everything. ... Feel the slip and the grip of grace again. / All I need is all I need."

- Karin Bergquist and Linford Detweiler, from their song "All I Need Is Everything"

Quote via Sojourners Voice and Verse

Music Monday

2011-08-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

The Weepies- Red, Red, Rose from Fuzzy Monster Media on Vimeo.

I bought tickets to The Weepies today.

Fly Away

2011-08-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

Source: weheartit.com via octolilly on Pinterest

Flying out tonight to celebrate amazing people. See you next week.

The Carolinas

2011-08-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

This year I am only attending 3 weddings and I am not in any of them (JOY! I mean I love, love, love being in weddings but it is also very much fun to simply attend a celebrate them.)

The second of my three in taking me to South Carolina, via North Carolina (cheaper flights). I am excited. There will be fun photos and all that jazz.

For now my biggest worry seems to be finding a way to get to breakfast somewhere good in Charlotte when I land at 8 am.

Lands End

2011-08-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

I finally went hiking at Lands End this weekend. The views were amazing! I have to say I think I will have to make it a more regular adventure. I climbed nearly every set of stairs I could find, found the labyrinth that so many people have told me about and enjoyed sitting watching the tug boats pull the huge boats in.

Overall it was a good way to spend some time some time in my lovely city.

Random Quotes

2011-07-28T23:35:00.000-07:00

Source: lovequotesrus.tumblr.com via Whitney on Pinterest

2011-07-28T01:04:00.001-07:00

Source: ffffound.com via Rafa on Pinterest

Quote of the day

2011-07-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

"Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice out there calling me to be something I am not. It comes from a voice in here calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God."
— Thomas Merton

Music Monday

2011-07-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to NPR's More Songs that Make you Cry. This particular one had a year or two when it was just too much to listen to, but today it is Music Monday.

Love this print.

2011-07-24T22:39:00.000-07:00

Source: imgfave.com via Courtney on Pinterest

By the way I got a hair cut, and I miss the days of messy buns...

Saturday Evening Post

2011-07-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

I love sunny days with long bike rides.

Process

2011-07-21T23:05:00.000-07:00

Source: jaclynpaige.tumblr.com via Margaret on Pinterest

Sitting across from one of my Pastors from Eucharist (one of two churches I am attending right now) I had told the story of my journey with God for the past two years, in my head it was a story on the other side of healing. I am better now.

She responded kindly with how much she appreciated me sharing my process and that I am still in process. Part of me wanted to protest, to declare and defend, "No, I am not broken anymore. God and I are great. I just can't see my self committing to a church in a covenant sense right now, vows and intentional community just didn't work out for me. It was just too idealistic, you can't really expect that much from people when things get that hard, it isn't their fault and I don't want to ask that of anyone again. I have friends; I have community. I am still close with many of the people in my old community and I have my own informal faith community. It just isn't in the church in a formal way anymore."

Instead, I let her words sink in. I am still in process. I am still learning to trust the church again. On the other side of healing, I am a aware that I am as fiercely independent as ever, and if I am not careful I will end up even more stubbornly independent than ever.

Quote of the day

2011-07-20T17:51:00.001-07:00

"[Be] daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burnt in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how phony [you] are."

- Brennan Manning

Aline's Closet

2011-07-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

This is Aline, the fabulous French woman that owns and designs clothes for Aline's Closet.

For ages I would ride my bike past this little shop and ponder stopping in. All the adorable clothes in the window, the sweet little spot on the corner, the darling doll house above the door: these things beckoned me in.

Finally one day I stopped in. This is when I met Aline and she is the kindest woman! Aline greets customers like welcomed guests and soon to be old friends. She is gracious and kind and all the things you think of when you ponder why all women wish they were french, add to that her store is fabulous.

I have now stopped in many times, and each time I arrive she greets me by name, and tells me about all the little goodies she has filling up her tiny shop. Most of her work comes up-cycled/pre-loved materials she picks up in France and reworks into new and unique pieces. The walls are always full of items I am halfway convinced I can't live without, but I have managed to maintain some self control. However, I will say she is the creator of my favorite feather earring, she made it custom just for me.

The back wall holds a collection of colorful and fun tops.

She has reworked these vintage dresses to update their look. I bought a top from her that was once the top of a 1980s formal, she cut the crazy ruffly skirt off and sold them as separate pieces.

I love the use of old wine cases and branches for decor!

Hand made earrings, all up-cycled materials.

I just love this little seat, it however, is not for sale.

My supper cute bike* with a little pink bag, because I bought something fabulous.

I love supporting local designers that are reworking so much of the excess we have into new and interesting pieces! Seriously, everyone anytime you are in the Lower Haight you should stop in, and if you are never in the Lower Haight, well than you should just find some time to stop in anyway.

*I think this is my first post to have a pic of my bike in it and that is crazy because I am a bit in love with my bike. I mean isn't she soooo cute? As a side note: the next time I take a pic of my bike I will stage it better and not have my helmet hanging off of it, but whatever. If you think my bike is as adorable as I do you can pick on up just like her at Pedal Revolution, and right now there are even more really amazing colors! They have a lavender one, seriously, go get a bike.

Savage Inequalities

2011-07-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

Just starting to read this. My coworkers swear by it. I am kind of wishing copy right date wasn't 20 years ago. Nonetheless, I am already impressed by it, and have sadly seen some of the issues they are talking about in recent years.

You can anticipate a book response in the next few weeks.

Anyone read it? If you have and you live in the Bay Area we should chat about it over coffee. I am a huge verbal processor and I love to talk through books I read.

Music Monday: Camaron Ochs

2011-07-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

(Recorded on Rachel's iphone. I need an iphone.)

I heard this lady a few weeks ago at the Retox Lounge. I loved her music.

You should check out her website if you want to hear/see her for real. I will tell you my fave song is You Were Late, but I also really, really love The Traveler. Go check her out!

Fabulous Sunday School Moments

2011-07-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

Source: booklover.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

This morning as I had the following conversation with one of the kids in my class as I was getting ready to tell the children their story. I had asked them all to listen to the story all the way through and he raised his hand and asked:

"What if you have heard the story before? Do you still have to listen?"

My response, "Yes, because it is kind of like re-watching you favorite movie, you get to enjoy it again."

He and his classmates did listen to the story, even thought most all of them had heard it before. They listened closely with interest, leaning in with anticipation of how it would end, even though I am sure they all knew. It was inspiring.

To be honest, reading scripture for years has felt redundant to me. It has been challenging to convince myself to labor through Paul's letters and much of the narrative of the Gospels and the Hebrew Bible. I know the stories, I know them by heart, I know the advice Paul gives and I do my very best to be obedient. Still, for ages I have found it challenging to reread the text that I love so much. I still love to study it, research it and over analyze, but I don't really ever just read it and let the story be the thing I enjoy. However, this morning (and many mornings when I teach Sunday School) the story came alive again in the eyes of children, in their reactions to events and injustice, in their interpretation of the lesson.

To be honest I am not one to re-watch movies, but I do think I should follow my own advice: I should re-read the story so because than I get to enjoy it again.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-07-16T19:54:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-07-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

Source: imgfave.com via Kate on Pinterest

Feature Friday: Corazon Creations

2011-07-15T08:09:00.000-07:00

This is the fabulous Elisabeth Meikle. I met her when she volunteered to bring snacks to the non-profit I work for. Honestly, I am sure I met her before that because many of her wonderful friends are my wonderful friends, but the point is: She is pretty rad. She lives around the corner from me and has been working on becoming Elisabeth Meikle, MS, OTR/L for as long as I have known her (She accomplished this goal a few weeks ago: YAY Elisabeth!!). Hence she has been working very hard, but still managing to: gather people at Off the Grid (in the Haight, where this pic was taken), donate snacks for low-income youth, and seem to be a generally fabulous human. With all that going I was surprised to see her post on facebook about her etsy shop. (mean how does she have time?)

With my LOVE for etsy shops I had to check it out, and I loved her stuff.

Corazon Creations (I name I need to ask her the source of) is all fabulous little chalkboard items: gift tags, party banners, and wine glass charms. It is all too cute and really great prices.

The images are linked to the store so have fun shopping!!

She has been featured on another fun blog, you should totally check it out!

Me at the Louvre

2011-07-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, once upon a time I went to the Louvre and wanted a photo of me there. This is what I came up with.

I realized I need to make it a goal to post all my Europe trip pics. It really was amazing.

2011-07-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

Source: weheartit.com via Mars on Pinterest

This past Saturday while I was hosting my little craft and wine party I told the story of my anchor tattoo and this post on hope.

It reminded me how much I have grown in the past year, how blissfully happy I am and how much I have to look forward to. It also reminded me how terribly frightening it is to be vulnerable on a blog, and how much I LOVE my readers because you are mostly my friends and family and you send me the most encouraging notes.

LOVE YOU!

Alice in Printland

2011-07-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

(Images stolen from etsy and can be purchased by clicking on them.)

I found these on Etsy today and I love them. They are from a little shop called PRINT. It is stocked full of vintage images on upcycled paper, and I love most all of them. I am in a bit of an Alice mood (isn't everyone?), so obviously these stood out.

I think they are lovely.

Thoughts on home

2011-07-11T20:05:00.000-07:00

It has been about 2 months since Jenny came to see me. I somehow never did all the blogging I wanted to do about all the fun times we had together: it was epic. But those are stories for another day.

You see I love it when friends that don't live here come to visit. SF is a major tourist spot and I live her: so, I have the in. I know where to go for great food; I know where to drive down the coast; and I know what random events are worth checking out. Adding to the joy of Jenny's visit, Jenny's friend Kim, who also lives here, knows different parts of the city. Combine our knowledge with a visitor to entertain and the fun begins. We got to play traveler in our own city (I would say tourist, but tourist do the lame for show stuff and travelers discover the fun things waiting to be enjoyed).

Funny thing is I often forget how wonderful these moments are when I get to show off my city. I forget how much I love this place and how much it has to offer, that is until my friends come visit. Then as I get to start scheming and dreaming of ways to entertain them I fall in love again. In those moments this place is home, and I am blissfully aware that I get the privilege to live here. Not only do I get the privilege to live here, but I have the joy of meaningful work and a community of amazing friends.

Nonetheless, when my visitors leave I am reminded why it is often so hard to think of staying here forever. It isn't that I don't LOVE my friends that live here, it is just that somehow this place don't always feel like home. San Francisco is competitive and busy; therefore, my friends all work crazy hours and are fabulously busy pursuing the best version of themselves, and that means that we don't do weekly hangout nights and we all chase different dreams. I love them for that, I am inspired by them, I am a better person because of them. I also sometimes long for the slower pace of a different life. The pace of a place that feels more like home.

Here in lies the conundrum: I am not really sure what home feels like. Some days it feels the view of the city sky line when I reenter the city, it feels like getting on my bike and riding to work; it feels like rushing around to a thousand different engagements all in one weekend, attending events that I always imagined where intended for people much more metropolitan than myself, free tickets to amazing Museums and dining on fabulous organic food and wine: all these things feel like home. Still, at times I long for the taste of Tex Mex and the feel of 103 degree heat on a summer day, sitting with friends in a back yard (those hardly exist here, I am one of the luck few to have one, but it is small and full of concrete). I long for houses instead of apartments and un-pretentious food and drink. Some days home feels like memories of sitting under trees in large back yards and open fields with the summer heat all around, with absolutely nothing to do, but enjoy the company of the person sitting next to you.

Today home feels like photo booth photos and a phone call to my best friend.

Music Monday

2011-07-11T17:38:00.002-07:00

Fabulous Sunday School Moments

2011-07-10T22:55:00.000-07:00

Source: everythingfab.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Child one: But I am going into 4th grade. I don't want to go into this class.

Child two: But you just finished 3rd grade so you are supposed to be in Teacher Sarah's class, and teacher Sarah is cool. She wears great jewelry. (Smiles brightly at me, convinced she has made a solid argument.)

There you have it. I am a qualified Sunday School teacher, not because I have an M.Div. but because I wear vintage jewelry.

There are no words.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-07-09T19:00:00.000-07:00

Video Recipe

2011-07-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

beet cake from tiger in a jar on Vimeo.

Just love this video recipe, but I would need to make it with gluten free flower.

Happy Friday

2011-07-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

You know that scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's when they first meet, and he is in her apartment helping her look for a shoe and it is in the fruit basket by her bed, because that is a perfectly normal place for a fruit basket... well, my room is like that.

I need to clean my room, and I need to have a girls night like this one to help me keep it clean!

Leah, Lisette and Ning: you are my SATC ladies! I need you!

p.s. I promise not to crawl on the floor... well, I will try not to.

Quote of the day

2011-07-07T20:04:00.001-07:00

Source: weheartit.com via Gina on Pinterest

Failure, Cheestastic Quotes and my Chick Flick Life

2011-07-06T23:18:00.000-07:00

Source: 9kik.com via Reba on Pinterest

The above image is cheesetastic - soon you will understand why I love it so.

Last week as I was running it occurred to me that somehow my life has become much more like a movie than I ever really expected it to. At the end of next month I am flying home to attend a wedding of a former student who I dearly love, and to be honest my life isn't exactly what I had planned for it to be by now. My time line has been thrown off and at times I feel a bit like a failure. (Side note: in the mind of any reasonable person I am not a failure, but we all know that I am not always reasonable.)

As I pondered this the scenes started running through my head. If you have ever seen a chick-flick you have probably seen the scenes I am talking about.

Nice, but a bit quirky main character returns home from her life off somewhere random. Her friends have all either started families or they are the top execs in their field. She is single, her job is good but not super fancy, and she is bordering on broke. She is happy with her life but when questioned the main character fumbles over excuses and reasons for why her life isn't as perfect as it should be. People whisper and she becomes insecure and awkward, she makes a fool of herself until some price comes and rescues her. She is a woman that has tried great things and failed.

As the dread of living out the scene minus the Prince Charming starting setting in, it occurred to me that every time I see that scene play out, I have my fingers crossed for the main character. After all she is the lead: she is the woman that took a crazy risk, moved to a random place, and tried something brave. This isn't to say that the other women are not equally as amazing, but they offer different inspiration. In fact I will say I look up to and adore them, but I just don't often relate. I relate to and love the mess, the girl that tried and is trying, the girl that is fiercely independent and trying to figure her life out, even when it means mingling at a wedding with well wishers saying "your next" when she don't even know if she wants to be.

So, as I let it sink in that I am nearing that age when attending weddings means trying to explain my life to strangers and dodging the expectation that I either need to become some high power something or head down an aisle, I find it reassuring that when I tell my story it might be messy, but it is the story of a woman that is trying and risking a life a bit less ordinary. It isn't real chick-flick material, but it is real life. And every now and than real life needs some cheesy quotes to put it in perspective.

Source: fromupnorth.com via Gayle on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Lucy on Pinterest

Source: redletterwords.com via Bethany on Pinterest

Happy

2011-07-05T23:44:00.000-07:00

I watched this documentary this weekend. It wasn't revolutionary, but it was inspiring. I didn't learn anything I didn't know, but I remembered the importance of doing the things I was made for. It was an reminder that researching, learning, painting, crafting, cleaning, running, and other avenues where I find my personal rhythm are not frivolous but they are part of how I thrive and therefore part of how I am happy.

So, I am throwing a party this Saturday, because I LOVE hosting. I am going to create a reading list of all the books I feel intimidated by the fact I haven't read (mostly business books) and I am going to read them. I am going to skip going out so that I can write and run.

Source: flickr.com via Amy on Pinterest

I am going to find my sweet spot, my flow, because the truth is I was not a great student (my papers were often late and poorly edited), but I LOVED to learn. I miss it. At first I believed people that said I missed it because it was all I had known, but 3 years post graduation I can tell you: I find my joy in stacks of books and useless knowledge, and I don't think that is a bad thing. As someone that is no longer a graduate student it might not be acceptable for me to skip social events to read, but I might start doing it again soon. This will be challenging as I am spazticaly social, but I am determined to find my flow, and I think it might be hiding in a book somewhere.

Music Monday

2011-07-04T10:23:00.000-07:00

My dearest Friend Suz is living in Oxford and told me about these cats. I like 'em.

And yes I did notice that I am posting European band on Independence day. Oops!

Happy Friday

2011-07-01T19:43:00.000-07:00

Source: theglitterguide.tumblr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

"It is Friday, I like to wear shiny things on Friday." ~said the woman in a gold sequin dress riding the Houston bus.

Truth be told I think it sounds like fabulous plan.

House Hold Simplicity

2011-06-30T23:02:00.000-07:00

Source: dearinspirationblog.blogspot.com via Kate on Pinterest

So, I have decided that as I move toward simplicity in my budget I will aim for this in my home.

There will be an upcoming swap to help me clear out some of my stuff that is either un-useful or un-beautiful.

It is raining in San Francisco.

2011-06-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Source: awesomephotography.co via Roelien on Pinterest

Music Monday

2011-06-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

Laura Kirk thanks for sending this my way.

Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Weekend In Review

2011-06-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

Awesome dress I bought at Minxy just for Carin's wedding.

Beautiful Chapel at the Swedenborgian Church where Carin got married. (This image does not do this place justice and I am terribly sad I don't have pics of Carin. But, I am so glad I was there and honestly so glad that I was so excited to be there I didn't even think to take a picture I just got to experience her joy. Seriously, it was one of those weddings where the joy was so real I got all teary when I saw her. It was beautiful.)

Rose growing in the Rose Garden in Golden Gate Park where Leah and Lisette and I meandered most of the day.

Closed out Saturday at the Symphony. Thank you Brian for the ticket.

Today I got up early to Skype with Suz, taught Sunday school, went to the de Young to see Balenciaga, went to Eucharist, and enjoyed snacks with a fabulous group of people.

It was a good weekend.

I maybe should have gotten more sleep, but it was lovely to be out and about all 2 1/2 days.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-06-25T22:05:00.001-07:00

I just went to the Symphony by myself (one of my fabulous friends gave me a ticket). I did it up right. I wore a really fabulous dress and really wonderful earrings. I kind of loved it. I also almost laughed out loud at myself with how much my mind wonders when I am alone. The monologue that happened in my head completing with the really fantastic music was ridiculous, but awesome.

I should go on more solo dates, and maybe more dates with men in tuxedos. Seriously, how darling do those two look? Love it.

Quote of the day

2011-06-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

Source: google.com.pk via Bethany on Pinterest

Skipping the Gym to Save Money

2011-06-21T21:25:00.000-07:00

Source: instagr.am via Devin on Pinterest

Because I am canceling my gym membership I have to get more creative about working out at home (tonight I got home at 8:45, by the time I sat down for 5 seconds I lost my motivation to go running outside, plus it is cold and dark). I ride my bike to and from work, but it isn't really a work out. So anyway, I found this on pinterest a few weeks ago and I have attempted it a few times, it is kind of kicking my tail, but at least it gets me off my booty without costing me money.

If anyone has some good inexpensive/free workouts please let me know!!

Music Monday

2011-06-20T23:17:00.000-07:00

Fear of Failing (and why it is making me broke) Follow Up

2011-06-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

I was a bit surprised by how responsive people were to my Fear of Failure post. I am excited to hear that so many people are with me in making these changes and working towards getting out of debt. I also have to say I have already seen that this is going to be hard.

Nonetheless, I have come up with some action steps to take this week.

Draft actual budget.
Cancel my gym membership.
Change my CSA delivery to a small box every other week (I love my Farm Fresh to You box, but I throw a ton of it out. That is a waste of money and food.)
Research zero percent APR cards I can roll my debt over to so that I can pay towards my actual debt not just the interest that it grows each month. (This might be tricky, but I got some offers for 15 months no interest. I might be able to roll over onto one of them and get most of it paid off, than roll the remaining amount before the interest hits. I got this idea from my sister and I think it is worth a try.) I am also going to see if I can find a rewards plan that better meets my needs.
Research banks. Mine is great and I have had it for over 10 years. However, I get charged $6 every time I need to use another banks ATM.
Memorize the principles in this video:

I feel like this is enough to take on in one week, next week there will be more.

Side note: I ran 4 miles overcoming my fear of not being able to run 2 again (I was doing 5 a day this time last year, so that is my overall goal); I still need to write those blogs for Sweet Notions; I got more craft stuff and I think I will be hosting a small craft party to help me get my creative energy flowing again so that I can make some stuff to sell.

Side note 2: I am very excited that my choice to take on my debt coincides with the season of free events in SF. FuncheapSF is about to get a ton of attention from me, as will Broke Ass Stuart.

Love to hear more feed back and ideas on how to get un-broke.

Happy Friday

2011-06-17T17:42:00.001-07:00

My roommate posted this on facebook and I liked it so Happy Friday!

Mark Scandrette Book Launch Party

2011-06-16T18:15:00.000-07:00

Practicing the Way of Jesus from Mark Scandrette on Vimeo.

I am so excited about this book! Mark has so many great things to say and I love ReImagine. I was on staff with them for a year, lead a group for a additional year, I have taught workshops with them and overall experienced amazing things as part of this community. Although I am not longer a member, this community has meant the world to me. I am excited about this book and hopeful for the ways people will learn more about living into the life God has created us for as exemplified through Jesus.

Check out the Book Launch Party tomorrow night 7pm at 455 Dolores Street. This event is going to be full of awesome people and I am excited to celebrate the work Mark has done to write it.

Sleep

2011-06-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

Source: etsy.com via Amanda on Pinterest

Fun fact: I have a sleep disorder and tonight I have to go to a fake hotel room so people can watch me sleep. They are going to put monitors all over my face and chest and legs, and watch me sleep. Then they are going to tell me why I don't sleep well (but seriously, they just put wires all over me and they want me to relax and sleep well??) Anyway it is kind of creepy, but I am doing it so I can be healthy.

Fun fact (this one actually is fun): You can purchase the image above on etsy. :)

Fear of Failing (and why it is making me broke)

2011-06-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

"The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake."
- Meister Eckhart

Source: google.nl via Thomas on Pinterest

I have been thinking allot lately about how my fear of failing is preventing me from really doing what I most desperately want to do. I write posts that are never published, play with the idea of selling art again, wish that I was running more but get frustrated that I am so out of shape that I can only run 2 miles and end up skipping the run.

Funny thing I never thought of myself someone that was afraid of anything. I have done so many things that other people think of as brave, but for a while now I have been holding back and I am not sure what I am afraid of loosing or even what I am afraid of in general, but I am becoming more aware that inaction is scarier than doing something.

So, here I go again. I will be spending time trying to figure out what action I want to take. I might start with the little fears: actually post some art for sale on my etsy site, and finally submit the blog posts I committed to write months ago for Sweet Notions.

On a bigger scale: I am going to figure out a way to get out of debt, even if that means facing my fear of a boring un-fashionable life in which I have to feel like I have to let people down because my budget doesn't let me say yes to everything. To be honest I think this is my biggest fear: that I can't live a life that will get me out of debt and that if I try to get out of debt I will fail. I am afraid can't be responsible enough to pay things off, and that if I do create a budget I will stop having fun, my clothes will all magically go out of style overnight (never mind the fact most of my dresses where made over 30 years ago), and that people will stop wanting to hang out with me if I keep insisting that we eat in and go on walks, hikes, and bike rides.

However, I am realizing that the thing that is even scarier than debt is how debt limits me. It is so much harder to be generous and seek out opportunities to serve when I have to think so much about money. Despite all my chatter about how messed up our consumer economy is I have bought in more than I can afford and it is time for me to pay up.

Wow, that was one scary confession, but I am hoping that because this is a blog that is supposed to talk about simplicity it will be a good space for me to share and hear from others about my journey towards a debt free life.

If you have any advice please feel free to comment. I am hoping that along with continuing to share posts about all the places I shop, I will also be posting about creating a livable budget.

Love

Music Monday

2011-06-13T21:27:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-06-10T18:33:00.000-07:00

I know I posted this before, but it feel appropriate for the weekend ahead. I will be posting again on Monday, but this weekend I will be enjoying home.

Quote of the day

2011-06-07T11:58:00.000-07:00

"Imagine a world where the representatives of the greatest military power on earth are humbled by an unarmed healer from the backwaters of Galilee. If you can imagine this kind of world, you possess … an imagination ready to discern the reign of heaven." ~Stanley Saunders~

quote source- Sojourners Voice and Verse Daily Email

Music Monday

2011-06-06T11:22:00.000-07:00

Pursuit

2011-06-05T21:35:00.000-07:00

There is something simply fabulous about pursuit. The undeniable feeling of knowing that you are deeply valuable to someone is unlike anything else. For me the feeling is made real by postcards in the mail, gluten free provisions over dinner, taking time to do the mundane with me by your side, impromptu casual bike rides, and business cards with you personal phone number written in pen on the back, because you really do want me to call. All of these things happened for me this weekend and they all have me feeling very loved.

Yet, as much as I love all of these things the pursuit of my Creator is infinitely more enjoyable. It is as if for the past few days (or, lets be honest: years) God has been whispering to me that even when I want to walk He was in this and He wasn't going anywhere. In the past few weeks I feel that God is saying that these things I have hoped for God has promised me, just not yet so I need to trust just a bit longer, even while I wrestle with the desire to make it all happen now. The presence of God stirring up something in my life these days is more beautiful than I can really say and I am excited about it.

Come, Thou Fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,

Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood;
How His kindness yet pursues me
Mortal tongue can never tell,
Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me
I cannot proclaim it well.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-06-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-06-03T23:23:00.000-07:00

Sequins in the fabric market in Paris: before they yelled at me to put my camera away.

2011-06-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

Source: google.com via vvisuals on Pinterest

A little worn for the wear

2011-06-01T23:56:00.000-07:00

While Jenny was here we hopped over to Treasure Island for the Flea market (it was amazing and I will be posting pics of purchases later this week.) Treasure Island is a funny place. It has amazing views and is really a beautiful little island, it hosts a major music event every year, as well as other fun events. It is also where the city has chosen to build a significant amount of low income housing and I know of a few good programs that are located on the island. Supposedly, it is also about to become a 'green city' - basically a government experiment in sustainable architecture and city planning. Rumors are that this will of course force the low income communities out of their housing as their homes are torn down to build sustainable green homes. Now, I am not sure if any of the rumors are true, but as I saw this really beautiful abandoned pier I felt like it was a pretty accurate depiction of the island: beautiful, but broken and in need of some love and attention, but most often forgotten.

(Me and Jenny enjoying our photo opp.)

Quote of the day

2011-05-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

"Rats and roaches live by competition under the laws of supply and demand; it is the privilege of human beings to live under the laws of justice and mercy." ~Wendell Berry~

Dear God, Thank you for this privilege. Now, please help me live like I believe it. Amen

Jenny is here!!!

2011-05-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

Source: blondebirdie.com via Diana on Pinterest

One of my favorite people in all the world is in SF this weekend. I am so excited!

Also, work is a bit intense side, so posts will be a bit limited for the next week. I might post some fun images and quotes but that is about it.

HUGS

Music Monday

2011-05-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

The fabulous lead singer did my last hair cut. She is kind of amazing.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-05-21T23:13:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-05-20T18:41:00.001-07:00

A SHORT LOVE STORY IN STOP MOTION from Carlos Lascano on Vimeo.

2011-05-19T18:00:00.000-07:00

no blog tonight. I am off to enjoy Mysic Africa.

Mystic Africa

2011-05-18T23:27:00.000-07:00

I have to say I feel privileged to have friends like Jaclyn. If you can head to her show tomorrow you will love her work, and if you can buy some of it that will really help her pay for her trip to Africa. If you can't make it to the show her work is available online.

I am excited that she is returning to East Africa and maintaining her relationships. Her loving spirit is amazing. If you are interested in her work please read her blog.

Nerd Question (Html)???

2011-05-17T20:26:00.000-07:00

Source: identi.ca via Zach on Pinterest

So, when I embed things onto my blog clearly have to use the code provided and the code makes it right justified. I want it centered. I need to know if there is code I can add to the beginning and end of the image/videos I embed so that I can have them centered.

I know it is dumb but it just bugs me to have images right justified I think it looks dumb. I would be even more excited if someone can tell me how to edit the code so that I can make images bigger, but I am pretty sure that I don't know enough to be able to do that.

Please someone answer me.

Setting up an art show

2011-05-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

One of my dearest friends Jacklyn is an amazing artist who has spent the past two years working to complete a series on Northern Uganda and Southern Sudan. I am excited to say that she is hosting a show featuring this series this Thursday, May 19th at 1337 Sutter. She is selling her work to fund her return trip East Africa and we are all excited to help! So, instead of doing the traditional evening gathering our community group are helping her set up her show (yep, I am speaking in the present tense, because there are more hands than room to work, so I am being a photographer and writer).

So one might ask how do you set up an art show? Well, Jack got herself a venue, a play list by a fabulous SF DJ, some flowers donated and we are all contributing food and wine, but that is just the beginning.

First you have to get the food/drinks for the work night.

Clearly the art is ready to frame.

The glass is being cleaned.

People are drilling in the hooks and the wire. (This is of course waited until after all the designers in my community group have an intense conversation about the best options for hooks, wires, and all other mounting ideas. I love how creative and serious all my friends are when it comes to the tiny details that make things even more beautiful.)

Jac is placing each piece ever so delicately, and I am having a blast looking over her shoulder to get sneak peeks of it all.

All the collaboration is so great to be a part of. Everyone is working so hard,especially Niko as he sips his beer and checks the baseball scores... oh wait... would I really call that working? ;)

Painting Inspiration

2011-05-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Source: katespadeny.tumblr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Source: sfgirlbybay.com via Emma on Pinterest

So as I mentioned on Wednesday I would like to be painting more, but I just can't seem to decide what I want to paint!! I like the paint stokes in these, but I haven't painted people in AGES!!

Saturday Evening Post

2011-05-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Friday

2011-05-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Letterpress from Naomie Ross on Vimeo.

Found this via Etsy's Twitter feed and I feel inspired.

I don't own a letter press, but I do think I will have to create something fabulously fun this weekend, you should too!

Creating

2011-05-11T23:32:00.000-07:00

Source: art.com via Kim on Pinterest

This past weekend I got a new tattoo and chopped off my hair. My hair wasn't that long so the cut isn't too drastic. (I will post pictures) These two things were enough to stir within me a longing to create. I love treating my body as a canvas, I think that is why when I paint I end up with paint all over my hands and face and pants and shirt. Nonetheless, for a while now something has me blocked.

Along with the hair cut and tattoo I chatted with a good friend about how much I happier I am now than I was a year ago. During the chat I mentioned that yes, I am happier, but this time last year I was writing good poetry, painting, running 5 miles a day and 9 miles once a week, and my room was clean. Funny, how being a mess made me so much more productive.

So as a healthy and semi whole person I am setting a few personal artistic challenges: paint ONE painting a month for the rest of 2011; create something (cooking a full meal or a fabulous dessert counts) once a week for the remainder of my 28th year; take one photo daily; document these things.

Now this might be a bit much, as I am working to get better at my job; start running again and managing some significant volunteer tasks. Yet, somehow I feel that if I can commit to create more, I will have the energy to do the other things, and according to my friend Leah if I write it on my blog it is true, so now I just have to do it.

(Side note: great news: my favorite jeans have an un-mend-able hole, meaning I have new painting pants that I feel pretty in. I do a better job creating pretty things when I feel pretty.)

Quote of the day

2011-05-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder or lightning." ~Frederick Douglass~

Music Monday

2011-05-09T10:55:00.000-07:00

Hope

2011-05-07T10:52:00.000-07:00

Source: None via Alle on Pinterest

"For in hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what is seen? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience." Acts 8:24-25

I am getting my anchor tattoo today. The anchor is a symbol of hope and I am holding onto hope, but I must confess I am really resonating with hope being unseen.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." Hebrews 6:19

Happy Friday

2011-05-06T11:33:00.001-07:00

No More Questions! from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

I think this video is sweet and I love Story Corps. It might not be your typical Happy Friday moment, but it makes me grateful for my grandma, and that makes me happy.

Dear Grandma,

Please live forever.

I love you.

Sarah

Cinco De Mayo

2011-05-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Source: onecharmingparty.com via Tiffany on Pinterest

Source: dana-made-it.com via Regina on Pinterest

Source: foodnetwork.com via Elliott on Pinterest

One of these years I am going to host a killer Cinco De Mayo Party... this year I am just going to post ideas about it.

Learning How to Stay

2011-05-04T23:20:00.000-07:00

Source: etsy.com via Victoria on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Emily on Pinterest

I have received mail in 6 states; I went to different school almost every year of elementary; and this summer my time in San Francisco will make it the second longest I have lived anywhere. I am living in one of the most transient cities in the U.S. and it is almost as long as I have lived anywhere. It is kind of crazy and has me struggling with a bit of an urge to move. You see I am not accustomed to roots. I had anticipated a career that had me traveling, instead I found one that is developing within me a deep sense of community and place, and I love it.

While I was in Paris I knew San Francisco was home, because I actually missed it, and I knew my job was my vocation because I wanted to return to it. Still, somehow within a few weeks of returning to San Francisco the wanderlust was already re-awakening. I am hitting my marker for moving on. I have the itch to leave, but I am committing to stay.

I will talk about Austin, Houston and Denton as amazing options. I will day dream about a back yard and calm hours at coffee shops, I might even sneak over to hang out with my friends in the burbs just to get a hint of it, but right now and for a few more years, I know that my life is here, and I am going to learn how to stay.

Once upon a field in Oxford

2011-05-03T20:43:00.000-07:00

While I was in Oxford I had the joy of a long walk through a rather large field on my way to a fabulous pub. While walking with Suz and Rach we chatted about the roles of women in leadership all over the world and how religious systems often attempt to set limits on their roles. Than we came upon a group of horses and we paused.

I think this might have been one of my absolute favorite moments of the trip. We had been having fabulous conversation, and we continued to after the horses, but we still had a chance to stop and engage with a beautiful intense powerful animal. I loved it.

We laughed as the horses tried to eat my camera and my sweater. We pet them and tried not to get stepped on.

I love that they were roaming freely. Seeing them run was like something out of movie. I was inspired and awed by their power, beauty, and honestly their awkwardness - I mean really how long does it take to figure out the you cannot eat my camera?

side note: I finally uploaded by pics from my camera - so there will be many more photo posts.

Music Monday

2011-05-02T18:14:00.001-07:00

I was at this show and I am excited that they named the song.

Creative Ministry (thoughts on the first few chapters)

2011-05-01T21:41:00.000-07:00

Today was a rare sunny day in San Francisco. Clearly this left me no choice but to sit in the sun and read (and nap). My dear friend's Chris and Christine loaned me Creative Ministry a few weeks ago and I am reading it slowly. I am reading it slowly because despite its simple and direct nature (as all thing by Nouwen are) it has a depth to it that I am hoping I can let sink in.

It is written with the assertion that all of us are ministers. I am just at the beginning and I feel challenged and encouraged. The first few chapters break down the way we teach and resist teaching/learning. It is my hope that I can learn how to trust learning. To trust what happens when I am vulnerable enough to face myself in the learning process and stop competing with others and start learning from them.

I feel that I was blessed in my seminary experience, in that it was often the case that I learned from my fellow students as much as from my teachers and I did not feel that it was a competition. Nonetheless, post academia I often let myself slip into competing to prove what I know and in that I fail to learn.

I am just at the beginning of the book. I am hopeful that this book, like much of Nouwen's work, will help shape me into the minister I hope to become.

Saturday Evening Post

2011-04-30T21:45:00.000-07:00

I did manual labor today. It was kind of amazing. Check out Rebuilding Together San Francisco.

Happy Friday (His Girl Friday)

2011-04-29T18:13:00.000-07:00

The other day I read something, somewhere, about how the movie His Girl Friday had an impact on feminism and Rosalind Russel's role in the movie impacted the role of women in Hollywood.

I can't find the article or video that informed me of this significant role this movie had at the time it was created; nonetheless, that article combined with my love of Cary Grant, resulted in a movie search, exciting news I found the movie for free on Hulu!

It is fun film. I have no idea why it ends the way it does: I genuinely hope that my career does not result in me loosing a man that loves me in trade for one the takes me for-granted (oops, I just spoiled the movie, and lets be honest I might choose the man that was taking me for-granted if it was Cary Grant). Even-still, it is a fabulously fun movie, and if it was progressive for it time I can tell we have come a long way.

Quote of the day

2011-04-28T23:17:00.000-07:00

"Civil disobedience is, traditionally, the breaking of a civil law to obey a higher law, sometimes with the hope of changing the unjust civil law. ... But we should speak of such actions as divine obedience, rather than civil disobedience. The term 'disobedience' is not appropriate because any law that does not protect and enhance human life is no real law." Sister Anne Montgomery, R.S.C.J.

Patching up the holes

2011-04-27T23:22:00.001-07:00

vanessa2, a photo by juliana santacruz herrera on Flickr.

I really just love pot hole art.

Tiniest bit of the urge to fly

2011-04-26T10:31:00.000-07:00

Source: carlytaylorphotography.squarespace.com via Zapallos on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via Iveth on Pinterest

Source: flickr.com via Johanna on Pinterest

Where do kisses come from?

2011-04-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Melody just shared this with me and I think it is really powerful.

Also, if you think it doesn't matter what you buy, research shows that the market will respond to just a 25% change in demand. 25% isn't really that much. If you stopped buying slave harvested chocolate, chances are your friends would too, and you know you have a ton of friends, so just think of the ripple effect.

Music Monday

2011-04-25T11:51:00.000-07:00

So Lent is over. This means my fasting from depressing music is complete. I think it did make me happier, but I am still very pleased to share this lovely video with you on this Music Monday.

Plus, the lyrics to this song have had a very positive impact on my life. I kind of love it.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T22:22:00.000-07:00

Matthew 28

Jesus Has Risen

¹ After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

² There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. ⁴ The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

⁵ The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”

⁸ So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹ Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”