This is a ramble, a posting on thoughts still undefined
A space to say a thousand things and vaguely nothing, all at once
There is this spark in my soul that is stirring just a bit
just a hint of hope and chaos and longing and need
all wrapped up in things unknown and things unseen
anticipation sneaking up along side preparation
and still
waiting
In recent days and recent chats and recent dreams
hints of everything hoped for
remembrances of everything that ever made the list of all the things I always wanted
like a memory of something that hasn't happened yet
somehow more sure than ever that this isn't it, but it is almost
flickers of permission to want what I want
as if for so long even the wanting was too much
and still
I wait
I am trying to determine how to become who I most want to be
so that I can do what I most want to do
so that I can believe, truly
and still the instructions seem clear
wait
For any of you that know me at all you must know this: waiting makes me anxious and feisty, it also seems to be good for me somehow.
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