Going home tomorrow!!

Being in TX has been amazing, but tomorrow I am going home!

Going to TX tomorrow!!

BOOKS on CD and other glorious reading

As some of you know I have a bit of an obsession with Audio books- this should not be too shocking considering I tend to obsess, and I love books but have a hard time with the discipline required to read a lot. Well, tomorrow I will get on a plane - perfect for listening to books- then on Friday and Saturday I am driving 10 hours round trip to see my parents and sis and other North Texas peeps so even better listening time. Other friends of mine have shared their reading list and I find it inspiring so here is my reading/listening list:

Fifty Poems of Emily Dickinson, by Emily of course
I Am America (and So Can You!), the hilarious Steven Colbert

as for actual books:
Harry Potter (the first one, I know I am soooo far behind)
A Passion for God's Reign, Jurgen Moltmann
Here If You Need Me, Kate Braestrup- this book has already made me weep!!

So I have no intention of finishing this reading but I am taking it with me cause I am a nerd.

Life is Good

just a bit of FYI:

I feel like a ton of my posts have been intense and/or downer ish: in reality I am strangely happy and calm in light of the stress I am under to find a job and get some money in the bank- I have seen God provide for me creatively and I am grateful.

Friday night I helped host a prayer gathering for friends leaving for Africa; last night I enjoyed a free movie in the park; today a strolled through an Independent Design Show/Market thingy, and I laid in the sun for some hours while a man with a guitar played and a young child danced; this evening some friends stopped by for a chat and prayer.

So yeah life is good, really, really good.

The request is for daily bread- it is request for enough, and I have abundance.

Our Bad Economy?

I stole this image off my friend Morgan's facebook. I had to copy it- it hit me like a ton of bricks. As someone who is unemployed, and has been looking for a while, this image served as a healthy reminder: I have a privileged life. I have a huge safety net, as long as I am willing to ask for help I will not go hungry, there are services all around me so in the worst case scenario I will have enough, even still I am sitting on a comfortable couch, in a nice fleece, with a tiny diamond ring my grandma gave me when I turned 13, typing on my Mac, as I take a break from my job hunt to reflect on the reality that I have no idea what real poverty feels like.

Truth

I want to tell you truth- but I have held it so close to me that I cannot let it go
I hold truth like a child gripping a blanket for security
It is enough for me to hold - I do not have to share
As I do not share, I do not share my security and I do not share my love

Still I will only share my truth with the people that can hold it with me
I will only give truth to the people that will not take it away from me
My truth is my security- it is my protection
It is guarding me from your truth- I fear your truth will break my heart

Why I will not leave a denomination that (mostly) doesn't want to hire me

Last fall I was able to view the document in DC that gave women the right to vote. The sight filled my eyes with tears of joy- that paper declared me equal.

Women and men suffered so that I could have the right to vote. They did it for themselves, but they did it for me.

This past week one of my former students was accepted into Truett. We are now colleagues and peers, when I was once her mentor. I love that.

Truett has always allowed women, and always will. Still, women before me lost so much in the fight to allow women to minister.

I have sat with women older than me with tears in their eyes because they were never encouraged to pursue their passion to preach the way the men around them were. I have read countless job descriptions that state that only men are encouraged to apply. I have cried with frustration as I know that I am capable, and God has called me, still my options are fewer.

I do often wonder if I can stay Baptist and still find a vocation in ministry that allows me employment- but as I think of the women who will come after me, and the women who have come before me- I plan to stay. So that when they cry it can be tears of joy because they are aware that their church has finally seen them as equal.

So dearest- Jen, I am proud of you. Have a great time in Seminary and know that you are inspiring me.