Saturday, January 31, 2009

Christen's Wedding!

In December I had the joy of being in my friend Christen's wedding.

The entire weekend with her was beautiful! She is an amazing friend to have and I love her with all my heart.

She also has great taste in photographers so check out her wedding photos.

Steve Myers Photography Blog

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

All or None

So pretty much anytime I make a major life choice I end up with a song in my head that sums up how I feel about it. They are almost always break-up songs. This is the one that keeps running through my head these days.

"Where I Stood"
~Missy Higgins~

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I
dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Monday, January 26, 2009

Hearing the words and remembering

She was seventeen- with a pixie hair cut, as she got out of the car.

The hair cut was new and it was brave move.
Just months before she had long flowing hair, half way down her back; but late one night, after a home football game, she chopped it. Just a few weeks later she got the pixie cut- everyone thought it was some kind of female coping mechanism- a way to feel some sense of control- they were right.

"Look at you, your beautiful"

The words surprised her, and burned into her memory.
She had not really even had a chance to acknowledge her grandmother standing in the drive.

Her sweater was sheer and knit light as air- the color a feminine burgundy, almost a rose tone.
The tank top under the sweater was white and soft, with girly detail.
Her denim skirt was shorter than her father would have like it to be.
Her white flats completed the perfect outfit for a wanna-be teen angsty artist type.

It was probably not the first time her grandmother had told her she was beautiful- but it was the first time she heard the words.

"Look at you, your beautiful."

Gliding toward her, her porcelain skinned grandmother cupped the girl's face in fragile hands.
She looked at her deeply, taking her in, as if it was her first time to see her.

"You have grown into such a beautiful woman."

~I write this because I often forget these precious moments, they get lost in all the other things that go on. I know it has been 9 years since I got out of that car in east texas, but I still remember the first time I heard the words. I assure you she said them before- but I don't know that I was listening.~

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I'm Famous

Well not really- but The SOLD Project featured me on the RE:ACT page of their website.

So fun! So any way check it out and read the stories of other people who have participated in the Abolitionist movement. Who knows maybe you'll get inspired.

grace and peace

Monday, January 19, 2009

I am enough

So this time last year I had just moved to SF and I was in the creativity learning lab (learning lab=class or workshop). At one point we had 7 minutes to write a poem to the voice of fear in our heads. I am back in the class and this week we are facing those fears again. So I was reading through the old poem and I felt like posting it- read it like you are telling someone off, head bob and all. Then you should time yourself for 7 minutes and write own :)

I am enough

Speak only truth
I am done with lies
I know you reject me
But you are nothing and I am alive
I can
I will
I am…

You have no place
This is my sacred space
This is my time to hear the truth
I must stay
You must go
I can
I will
I am

I am enough
I don’t need more
I have my freedom
I am done
I am ready
I am able

I am not defined by you
I am defined by me
I am more than my accomplishments
I am more than my failures
I am
I am ready
I am able

Get out
You are doubt
I am courage
You are insecurity
I am strong
You are judgment
I choose grace
You are done
I am beginning
I am able

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Good advice

A dear former professor of mine is helping me in my search for a place to serve and today he reminded me of a very simple truth.

God is the one that opens and closes doors. If we leave that work up to God it frees us of the burden of thinking that we ought to eliminate possibilities.

So that is a little paraphrased but you get the point. In light of the fact that many of my friends are looking for employment and direction it seems pertinent to remember, even if it is hard to see things that way.

I want to be in control, I want the perfect job, in the perfect city, with the perfect friends, and I want to reject things that don't look like what I want. Still, if I claim that I do what I do because I feel God has called me to it then I must trust God's call to be a call of provision.

God is trustworthy. It is God's job to open and close doors, it is my job to follow God through them.

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