Sunday, December 28, 2008

2009

My goals for 2009-

write meaningfully
run- maybe even race
become 'gainfully' employed
take the GRE and rock it
go on a trip for fun- pure pleasure, nothing else (preferably one that involves a national park)
get one of the two major tattoos I want
live the vows made with Seven
hang out with my mom in San Francisco
Overcome my irrational fear of 'steep' things (yes I know I live in San Francisco and there are a lot of steep things- I am scared a lot)
start saving money to buy property
remember how it feels to be deeply in love with my Creator
spend a weekend in silence
wear lipstick
mail letters using the actual postal service
take pictures on film and develop them
decorate my room
paint something honest
fight human trafficking - invite another community to do their own version of ABOLITION
prepare for ordination, get licensed and become a pastor
meditate on the cross with out forgetting the life of Jesus
meditate on the life of Jesus without neglecting the death and resurrection
paint my nails on a regular basis
visit my senators office in San Francisco
pray more
love more
listen more
ride my bike
walk to work more
be open to the new and adventurous
take daring steps of faith

There are a ton of goals here. Writing them down and sharing them with people increases the likelihood that I will follow through. Thanks for the accountability.

~love~

“God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try”
Mother Teresa


2008

I mostly wrote this to reflect. To remember that this year was full and it was successful. It was an adventure. It was surprising and not very much like what I anticipated- but it was a good year.

I moved to San Francisco.
I worked with ReIMAGINE, Soul Shoppe, and Making Waves- all organizations that serve to better the world.
I made my first ever campaign contribution for the presidential election.
I went 40 days on a vegan diet.
I completed my masters degree!!
I paid off my car- then sold it for a 15% of what I paid for it five years ago.
I learned how to use a public transit system- I was late a lot and lost regularly.
I stopped shopping as much and learned to love used clothes.
I went 40 days with out make up or jewelry.
I cried with my sister from half a continent away when she miscarried.
I missed my sisters, my niece and my nephew more than I thought I would.
I called at least one member of my family almost every day.
I enjoyed cold foggy days at the beach, hung out in Dolores Park, relaxed on my roof, and slowed down.
I learned how to cook.
I paid off a student loan.
I spent more time alone than I have ever wanted to - I have loved and hated it.
I saw a dead man on the street as I walked with some friends- he was surrounded by police officers and worried neighbors- our guess was that he was a homeless man- we hope he passed in his sleep.
I called 911 at least 3 times- it was always for someone else.
I started learning to knit.
I lived with 3 random Germans.
I facilitated a workshop to fight human trafficking - and I realized a passion for justice I had hoped I had, and now know that I have.
I committed to only buying fair trade chocolate and coffee.
I went to DC and actually spoke with my senator's office about the TVPRA- I celebrated months later when it passed!!!
I saw the document that gave me as a woman the right to vote in this country.
I finally got a blond streak in my hair (I have wanted one since I was 13.)
I made mistakes that I never want to make again and I was shown grace.
I met some amazing people.
I formed lasting friendships.
I read books for fun.
I voted for the first African American president- he won- I gained HOPE in our country.
I drowned in my insecurity just long enough to realize how much I needed to break free from it.
I stepped out on faith that God is leading me in a new direction and I left my job with ReIMAGINE.
I was in one of my best friends from college's wedding. YAY for Christen and Joe!
I decided that I do want to Pastor- I am a congregationalist- I kinda wish I could be Greek Orthodox- I love my Baptist roots (maybe too much)- I do think the emerging church provides hope for the church- I want to be part of change.
I learned to define myself more as someone in healing than as someone who is wounded.
I lived in 5 apartments- I have roommates for the first time in 2 1/2 years and one of them is just months old- we call her Bella and she is fabulous.

2008 has been a beautiful year, but something tells me 2009 is going to be simply gorgeous!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

falling

waiting for my delayed flight in San Antonio i observed the most inspiring little person.

red pants and a baseball shirt- a foot and a half of energy sped up and down the rows

tiny little feet barely covering more than an inch or two with each swift step- then splat

flat on his face, arms spread, his whole body flew to the ground

expecting tears i held my breath and watched

unphased, as fast as he hit the ground he was up, one little red leg following the other in fast secession, smile as wide as before, head held high, so proud of his ability to move through the world

falling isn't failure- it is part of learning how to move

Monday, December 15, 2008

Last Day

December 31, 2008 will be the last day that I am officially on staff with ReIMAGINE. This grad experiment is over.

My heart longs for place to pastor- a congregation to pastor.

I love ReIMAGINE. I love the way ReIMAGINE invites people into a way of life that seeks to follow Jesus' teachings, but I do not pastor here.

To tell the truth my heart hurts a bit. I feel like I am in the midst of a break up; one where everyone knows that it is the best. We were not made for each other.

Still at times my heart is so full of excited anticipation that I can't keep from laughing with the joy of the future.

I am not sure exactly where things will go from here. I am looking for a full time job that will allow me to use all of my gifts.

This has been a beautiful experiment.

Thank you for your prayer and support.

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