Saturday, May 23, 2009

Why I will not leave a denomination that (mostly) doesn't want to hire me

Last fall I was able to view the document in DC that gave women the right to vote. The sight filled my eyes with tears of joy- that paper declared me equal.

Women and men suffered so that I could have the right to vote. They did it for themselves, but they did it for me.

This past week one of my former students was accepted into Truett. We are now colleagues and peers, when I was once her mentor. I love that.

Truett has always allowed women, and always will. Still, women before me lost so much in the fight to allow women to minister.

I have sat with women older than me with tears in their eyes because they were never encouraged to pursue their passion to preach the way the men around them were. I have read countless job descriptions that state that only men are encouraged to apply. I have cried with frustration as I know that I am capable, and God has called me, still my options are fewer.

I do often wonder if I can stay Baptist and still find a vocation in ministry that allows me employment- but as I think of the women who will come after me, and the women who have come before me- I plan to stay. So that when they cry it can be tears of joy because they are aware that their church has finally seen them as equal.

So dearest- Jen, I am proud of you. Have a great time in Seminary and know that you are inspiring me.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Saturday, May 9, 2009

2 am and she calls me cause I am still awake

I call- I call out to my laptop
well not really- I just noticed that it was 2 am- I should be sleeping- it made me think of the song
I left dancing early to sleep
but I got home and got online- like the addict I am
I reread my goals for 2009 that I posted on New Years Eve
Goal 1: write meaningfully - at least I think it was number one- it was up there- at the top
well I have not written since The Rescue and my entries before then had been sparse and weak for a few weeks at least
so this week I will write daily
I mean it
I mean it because writing here forces me to process creatively the powerful, beautiful and the mundane as I interact with all of it
I have thought of posting the random things that get said to me on the streets daily- they would make you all laugh, or be horrified- but I am not sure if they would constitute meaningful- well the man declaring that I will die when she dies (whoever she is) I am sure he thought his message was meaningful- but really is it?

Still this is my 2 am rant (btw: I have not been drinking) more it is my promise- next week I will write, and it will not be gibberish- it will be my truth (I am reading eat, pray, love- some of the best words in the book are the admonishment to speak your truth- so that is what lies ahead, get ready)

love you all- that phrase reminds me of a chat I had with my friend Kates- she is studying this whole emergent people blogging obsession- and one question she asked dealt with the idea that in writing this thing I assume I have an audience- funny I do kind of, and I assume that whoever you are, if you are reading this, I either love you- or I believe that if I knew you I would love you- I wonder what that says about us blogger types? but like I said it is 2 am- I should not be awake

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