There is something profoundly beautiful about the honest worship songs we have been singing this weekend. These songs were written by the worship leaders that are here and they sing of pain and the healing. They admit that we have been broken before and we know we will be broken again, still follow.
On my flight to Convergence I was reading Walter Brueggemann's Spirituality of the Psalms. As I read about the psalms of orientation, disorientation, and new orientation my heart resonated with that understanding of God and of how we praise our Creator. At one point in time my faith was naive, then it was shattered, and it was re-created. The new faith has at times been just as naive as the first faith- it has be reoriented. Still, my faith is often more cautious than it was before. It is tender. I have experienced that cycle more than once. In fact I feel that I am probably in a place of disorientation even now.
The worship here has echoed that understanding of the flow of life. We have sung songs of both grief and rejoicing. The sound of distinctively female voices rising up in confession to the Lord has be therapeutic for my soul. God is here- wooing us. Reminding us that we are created in the image of God as a precious creation. Also reminding us that we must surrender to God's goodness, we must choose to allow God's redemption. I love the tension of those two realities. The freedom to cry out in earnest to my Abba, along side the understanding that God is already aware and already healing me.
I hope to post some of the lyrics here, but first I have to get permission. Their honesty is refreshing, and healing.