A few months back I watched the movie Shop Girl. (In general the movie was good enough- not great, but not a total waist of my time- I might have liked it more in that moment than I am remembering liking it.) In the movie the heroine of the movie has fallen in love with a man that refuses to love her back. As she comes to this realization she says "So I can either hurt now, or I can hurt later." She chooses now.
I never want to choose now. I don't want later either.
I am not in love. That is not what hurts or is going to hurt. However, I am aware that I can hurt now or later. I am choosing now, or at least I am trying to. I am choosing it, because it is honest. I am choosing it because in reality it is my later. I have run out of time and the hurt has caught up with me.
Hurting now requires that I be present in the reality that I am living in, not in the one I wish for.
Despite the oncoming and present pain I am grateful. My friends are some of the best a person could ask for. Furthermore I know that my Creator is present with me in this.
I hate that this post is so vague- but my point is this:
If your options are to hurt now or later- choose now. In reality it is the only real option you have. It is the option that is truest, it is the option that allows you to show up, and we all need you here.