Most Personal

Hitting publish can be one of the scariest things I do a day. At times it is easy, at times I am posting lists of songs. pictures of things I like, or ordinary updates on my life. Those times it is easy, almost embarrassingly unnecessary, except that for over 6 months I have posted nearly daily, even if quantity does not prove to improve quality. I do it so that maybe someday I will develop the discipline to write, so that the countless number of drafted posts that are actually good might someday see the light of day and I will pass on yet another post of boats. (You know you love the boats, come on admit it, they are awesome!)

Nonetheless despite the fear it seems that the times I say the most honest stuff I get the most responses and I realize why I write. It is for the connection. The moment that someone calls, texts, facebooks or comments and says "that was real, thank you."

It is amazing to feel the love when I admit I am doubting and friends respond in love and support. It is reassuring to have friends say they get it. It means something when friends tell me they have the same blog post drafted, but they are not ready to post it. I feel like it lets us be in this together.

I used to feel like facebook and blogs and all other forms of online social networking were creating false communities. I will admit that I have friends that live in my city that I talk to more on facebook than in person and that might be bad, but it might be good. I would be sad if I never got to hear how they were doing and if their blog didn't let me know how I could be thinking of them, praying for them as they dealing with life. I also feel like this networking thing is growing my community to a much broader scope than I ever imagines it would. I have stumbled onto blogs of a women that lives around the world from me, read her stories and felt more human, because I could relate to what they was saying. Their pain and joy and their admittance of it has helped me be honest about my own and even though I don't know them I am grateful.

I am a fan of honest space. Even if the most honest thing I can say is that I love bird cages and pirate ships, but even better if the most honest thing I can say is I laughed today, held a beautiful baby, ate dinner with lovely friends, and grieved the changes I didn't want to make.

Henri Nauwen is often quoted for saying "what is most personal is most universal." I feel like those are some of the most encouraging words I have ever read, and I am grateful to all the people that help me experience their truth.