"The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake."
- Meister Eckhart
I have been thinking allot lately about how my fear of failing is preventing me from really doing what I most desperately want to do. I write posts that are never published, play with the idea of selling art again, wish that I was running more but get frustrated that I am so out of shape that I can only run 2 miles and end up skipping the run.
Funny thing I never thought of myself someone that was afraid of anything. I have done so many things that other people think of as brave, but for a while now I have been holding back and I am not sure what I am afraid of loosing or even what I am afraid of in general, but I am becoming more aware that inaction is scarier than doing something.
So, here I go again. I will be spending time trying to figure out what action I want to take. I might start with the little fears: actually post some art for sale on my etsy site, and finally submit the blog posts I committed to write months ago for Sweet Notions.
On a bigger scale: I am going to figure out a way to get out of debt, even if that means facing my fear of a boring un-fashionable life in which I have to feel like I have to let people down because my budget doesn't let me say yes to everything. To be honest I think this is my biggest fear: that I can't live a life that will get me out of debt and that if I try to get out of debt I will fail. I am afraid can't be responsible enough to pay things off, and that if I do create a budget I will stop having fun, my clothes will all magically go out of style overnight (never mind the fact most of my dresses where made over 30 years ago), and that people will stop wanting to hang out with me if I keep insisting that we eat in and go on walks, hikes, and bike rides.
However, I am realizing that the thing that is even scarier than debt is how debt limits me. It is so much harder to be generous and seek out opportunities to serve when I have to think so much about money. Despite all my chatter about how messed up our consumer economy is I have bought in more than I can afford and it is time for me to pay up.
Wow, that was one scary confession, but I am hoping that because this is a blog that is supposed to talk about simplicity it will be a good space for me to share and hear from others about my journey towards a debt free life.
If you have any advice please feel free to comment. I am hoping that along with continuing to share posts about all the places I shop, I will also be posting about creating a livable budget.