love

Reconciliation begins not first with others but with ourselves: by allowing Jesus to clean us – to forgive us, to love us. ~Mother Teresa

I have said it before: if I didn't like men so much I think I would be a nun. (The part where I am not Catholic, nor am I Orthodox also doesn't help.) Specifically, I would like to be a nun in Kolkata working with the Missionaries of Charity. I would also really love to live in the Monasteries on the Cliffs of Meteora (one of the most beautiful places on Earth!) However, I am confident this is not my calling in life.

So, today I am pondering forgiveness and love, and how I need to accept it. I feel like some of the tears I talked about yesterday are connected to pushing away from love, feeling like God's love is too much for me to accept. I don't know if this makes any sense, but I want to know love, and it scares the crap out of me.