More ship love (and the intense world that exists in my head)

(Live Your Own Life Gocco Print, I purchased mine at the Renegade Craft Fair, you can get yours on Etsy.)

I really and truly am on the verge of a ship tattoo (and by verge I mean it will be at least a year until I have to dollars to do it), until than I will settle for enjoying every little glimpse I get of this fabulous little symbol of adventure and freedom.

Lately, I have been thinking about how ships require entire crews to function. If just one person attempted to sail a large ship it would capsize with one gust of wind. (At least that is my guess, as I am not a very nautical person.) Thinking about this makes me grateful for the people beside me as I live my life.

This thought process had caused me to question the message written on the sails of the ship in the print above. I think on some levels it is really great life advice for me. Despite coming across as confident and capable I spend a great deal of time in my head worrying about how others will/have interpreted my words or actions. It makes me a little crazy. To be more honest than can possibly be safe on a blog, my level of inner dialog that critiques everything I do is so intense that I have now had two wonderful therapist tell me they are sure that it has to be very hard to live in my head. To be even more honest: It is. The standards I set for myself are intensely high and am constantly concerned about how others are affected by my actions.

However, despite it being seemly clear that I should simply live my own life, my life does not exist outside of relationship with others. My choices, words, actions, and even thoughts impact other people: people who have loved me, walked beside me, cared for me and even hurt me; all of them are significant in the journey I am on. They all deserve to be taken into consideration as I make my choices.

So I have the little print above hanging on my wall these days reminding me of the tension between my independence and my interdependence in this crazy journey I am on. It is a bit challenging but I like it.